Ear Procedure

 I scheduled an appointment with the ENT over a month ago to have a procedure done that will hopefully help with the pain I feel and help me hear a little better. That appointment was set for the end of August. A few days ago the ENT office called and asked if wanted to switch my appointment to today, I said YES, of course. At that time they said I would not need a driver so I planned my day out a bit and let my daughter know about the change. I also thought it was odd that I wouldn't need a driver so I asked to ask a friend to watch the boys, just in case. Turns out they plan on giving me a Xanax and then Zofran for nausea and I will need a driver. 

The afternoon is planned out now. I picked up the meds last night, I can't take them until I get there and they tell me when it's time to take them. No problem, I even left them in the bags, stappled shut. We'll be dropping the boys off and heading over. 

The doctor will basically be inserting a small balloon into my Estuation tube to open it up a bit more. Now, I've had issues with my ears/hearing for my whole life. I've been dealing with a lot of ear pain for many years. I've had tubes in my ears a couple times when I was a child and then as an adult, I still had a lot of pain though. My pressure is not where the doctor wants it to be so this is the next step to try and correct this. 

This probably should have been done a very long time ago, I learned to live with the pain and just ignored it for the most part. It reach a point where it was to much to ignore and I was tired of it and the pain was more frequent. I do not recommend waiting. Who knows what kind of damage could have been happening all this time. I could have saved myself years of pain by going in much sooner. I always encourage others to seek medical help when in pain and I normally do that myself too but not with this. I think I kind of hoped it'd just go away, but here we are. 

I think this procedure will be under an hour long, my daughter will drive me home, after we pick up the kids from her friend and I'll probably go straight to bed upon arriving home. Thankfully I have Saturday off so I'll have plenty of time for rest before returning to work on Sunday. 

I don't know how much I'll need them, but I've got two sets of Loop Earplugs. These will help lessen the decibels that I hear. I've been keeping a pair with me all the time so I can use them if I need them. 

Wish me luck. 

I'll update on how everything went, afterwards.  

Another Dose Increase

 About 45 days ago I had a med increase, 30mg to 40mg. I have not noticed a huge change but overall I feel liked I'm feeling better, but that can depend on what's happened throughout the day. 

A week or so ago I spent time laying in bed after work, no lights, just crying under the covers. I think I was feeling stressed due to a lot going on at home and work. I work in an Adult Foster Care Home and there is a lot that can happen. I think that day might have been a difficult one. 

I'm working to take time to sit alone after work, sometimes saying high to everyone and then just disappearing to my room for a while. Sometimes my daughter will sit with me and sometimes the grand kids come in too. My room is the quiet body room. No running, jumping, screaming or general craziness is allowed. For the reason my daughter will sit with me almost every day to enjoy some extra and much needed quiet. The kids will visit, and talk, play on their games or sit with me, but the first scream they get cray they have the option to either not be crazy or leave the room. Most of the time one will choose to leave and the other will quiet down. 

The meds are working though and thankfully it's the second med I've been on. I did not want to get stuck in the pattern of going from one med to another every few months. 

I suppose I should get back to my work day. It's half over and I have only 1 day off before coming back.

Things Are Moving Along

This is my second weekend off and not having to move from one place to another, other than between the house and shed. While there is still a lot left to do around the house, the actual moving part is done and I am so happy for that. I have a few small projects I'd like to get done over the next couple of days. I do need to however, find my bedroom floor! It's such a disaster in here and it's driving me nuts. I'll be working on it this weekend though. 

The boys started school this yesterday and it seemed to go pretty well. We toured their schools over a week ago and then one school went on Spring Break one week and the other school was on Spring Break the following week, paper work still had to come together but they are all set now. 

My cats are adjusting, not well, to this move. There are more people and what not around. I think I may need to get them on some anxiety meds. They spent most of their time in my room when I'm not home. they venture upstairs when I am home but they are slow about it and if I move around, they follow me. They are sleeping on the bed as I type this up. I was upstairs for a few hours cleaning and getting dinner in the crock pot, they both wandered up and spent time getting in the way. I had to make some phone calls and do a few things in my room so they followed me down. 

I've got a few errands to do in town today, bank, gas station, and post office, pharmacy, then I'm done with extra stuff until I go to work on Sunday. My days and nights have felt longer but I'm trying to go to bed at a descent time and wake up at roughly the same time. I've been helping to get the boys ready for school too, that's interesting because it's been years since I've had to do that. Honestly I kinda miss it, not a lot, but I'm glad I'm able to be here for my daughter and help her with the boys. I also like being able to see them every day, usually just a little bit before everyone heads out in the morning and then a couple hours in the evening before they go to bed. 

I had better get back to some things around here before I head out for errands. 

Moving!

For the last couple of months my daughters and I have been looking for a place to live, all together. It's been difficult for many reasons but we have managed to find a place. 

I NEED more than just a room, I need to have space outside of my room when I want/need time alone, so I wanted a place with a basement and room for storage because I have a lot of that. WE also needed at least four bedrooms but five would be best. We wanted at least one and a half bathrooms but one would work too. Laundry hook-up because I have my own machines. We wanted some kind of yard for the boys to play outside and not be near traffic and where we could put up fencing for additional safety. 

We found a house and then lost it just as fast to someone else. Then we looked at a couple duplexes and thought for sure we'd get one of them, then we found both of those were gone as well, to other people. However, when looking at the two duplexes we saw there was one being worked on, I inquired about when that would be ready, they left a message for maintenance and I called the next day. The one being worked on was available and would be done by the end of that week. I told them we wanted it and I called my daughters! 

We signed the lease on March 16 and began moving things in that day. I've made multiple trips back and forth, once with a U-Haul van and then with my car. There is still a lot to get from my apartment but I am working on it every single day. i took a day off work so I would have three days in a row to get more stuff out of my apartment for two of those days and then the third day we are bringing my oldest daughter and grandsons up here with all their stuff. 

I've been working on setting up the kitchen with what I've brought over so far. I've began organizing the shed and washed cupboards and windows. On March 22, I'll bring my bed, clothes and cats over, that will take a couple of trips though, but by that evening I will be able to sleep here. If I can get the internet and Wi-Fi going then I'll be able to watch TV too, so far that is not going well at all. 

March 22 the internet was installed, it took him over an hour to find everything and get it updated plus the running back and forth from inside to outside and it's very cold today too, 30* and snowing. 

Another Step

 On Saturday January 27, my sister called to tell me that our brother was in the hospital, on life support. She had gone up to see him early in the day and later on that I picked her up and took her back up there, after I topped off the gas tank. I have not seen in more than 10 years, his choice, he burned bridges with all of his siblings but kept in contact with our dad. Dad also did the same thing, kept to himself, ignore his kids but would occasionally send something for grandkids, well my daughters and my grandsons anyway, I don't think he did that with any of the other grandkids and great grandkids. 

On Sunday, January 28, I got in the car to head to work. Noticed my gas tank was close to 1/2 tank. I traveled about 5 miles from home to the hospital and back so there was no way I used that much gas. Figured there was a leak in the line. 

On Monday, January 29, I got in the car to go to work, it was at 1/4 tank. I pulled out of my spot and backed up...yup, a lot of gas on the ground. I decided to head to the repair shop and find out exactly how bad it was and what it'd cost to repair. After sitting there for three hours they said the fuel lines were completely rusted, as were the brake lines and if they tried to repair it then it would just lead to other issues and they actually didn't want to do it. The cost for beginning repairs was about $3k. I put $10 into the tank and started driving home. Called my boss, told him what was going on and I was going home to sulk and figure out what I'm going to do. 

On Tuesday, January 30, my boss picked me up for work and my daughter picked me up from work and brought me home. Shortly after we finished dinner my sister called me, I knew it was bad news. The doctors are tried to bring our brother out of the medically induced coma he had been in since Friday the 26th and he only had maybe a few hours left. My daughter and I sat for a few minutes and decided to head up there. I wanted to be there for my sister so I changed clothes and grabbed my bag and we headed out. My brother died just after 11pm. My daughter and I were up there until after midnight. 

On Wednesday, January 31, I took the day off from work and did a lot of cooking and a bit of cleaning and otherwise spent the day alone until my daughter came over for dinner. My sister texted me information for the the viewing/service for my brother. My youngest daughter made plans to pick up my oldest daughter so they can both be at the viewing. 

On Thursday, February 1, a co-worker picked me up for work and my daughter picked me up after work. I still had not done anything with my car. I had been looking at cars on line and trying to figure out what to do. 

On Friday, February 2, my daughter came over and we had lunch and then headed out to get me a car. It took a bit of time but I was approved for a lease, which is what my last car was, then I paid it off. The new to me car is 2019 Chevy Trax, its got less than 37k miles on it, which is awesome. The payment is more than I'd like but it's a very necessary at this time so I will get it figured out and make it work. 

This week has been the longest I've had in a while. Tonight I cleaned out the old car and moved it so the tow truck will have an easier time getting it loaded up. Now I'll just have to get the new car straightened out and figure out what needs to stay in it and what doesn't. This is a necessary thing to do and it will be a good thing too. 

Next

Tomorrow I start on the 20mg of Citalopram (Celexa). This past week that I've been on the 10mg I have not really felt any different, guess we'll see if I notice a difference with the 20mg. 

Overall I'm still feeling okay. I don't have a a ton of energy to get things done around my apartment, which I find super annoying, but I am working on that, it's a slow process but I'm working on it. 

Some issues with coworkers were brought to my attention today, I spoke with my supervisor about it today, he said to not worry about it and that two of the people that are making complaints probably won't be around for much longer due to issues with them and not me. It hurts though when people you work closely with and help a lot because you have a better understanding, then says that you don't do anything. I do a lot of things that others don't see because it's been helping to get the house organized and cleaned up and to help ensure that everyone has a bit of an easier time doing their job. The state inspects the house every so often, we have certain rules we have to follow and things that need to be done and part of my job is doing those things. The previous person in my position was not doing nearly the amount of work that I have done since I've been there and I'm going on four months there. 

I like my job. I am still learning things for my assistant supervisor position, and up to this point I think that I've done pretty well. I have a lot of responsibility put on me with making appointments and getting people to those appointments, shopping, inventorying the residents belongings and other things kept in the house because we know that some staff is stealing but we don't have proof. I created and instituted an inventory list for all supplies that we keep in backstock. The stealing has pretty much dropped off, which is good, but some things are still disappearing quicker than they should. 

I think that my meds have been helping to keep me at an even keel with all this stuff that has been going on. I generally do okay under pressure but when that is coupled with learning a lot of new stuff and dealing with people that are rude, that's where it can hard for me. 

I tend to keep myself on my days off because I'm around people a lot and I need time to decompress. The meds make that a bit easier, I don't feel like I'm holding onto things for nearly as long, which is good. 

The joint pain that I was experiencing with the Fluoxetine is nearly gone. I still have some trouble with reaching behind me if I'm not fully turned. I can buckle my seatbelt without pain and crying now. I can move at night without pain and crying. I still have some trouble picking things up with my right hand or holding things with my right arm but it's not nearly as bad as it was. That is great. 

New Day, New Med

Due to major and not common joint pain I stopped taking the Fluoxetine on January 1. I then had three days off meds completely and today I have started my new med, Citalopram (Celexa). The first week is 10mg and then I'll be on 20mg after that. I waited to start it until today because I have two days off from work and if this new med causes sleepiness then I'll know and be able to change the time I take it. So far though, not really feeling tired but it's only been a few hours since I've taken it. 

One thing I didn't want to have happen was start on medication and then have to go through multiples to find one that works for me, but that's part of this process. My doctor asked how I felt while on the Fluoxetine, I didn't feel up or down, even keel for the most part. I wasn't sleeping better, I didn't have more energy but I wasn't really down either, that was a nice feeling. The first couple of weeks were difficult and the joint pain has been horrible but I'm hoping that goes away soon. 

For now, I'll work with the new one and keep track of how I'm feeling overall.