Next

Tomorrow I start on the 20mg of Citalopram (Celexa). This past week that I've been on the 10mg I have not really felt any different, guess we'll see if I notice a difference with the 20mg. 

Overall I'm still feeling okay. I don't have a a ton of energy to get things done around my apartment, which I find super annoying, but I am working on that, it's a slow process but I'm working on it. 

Some issues with coworkers were brought to my attention today, I spoke with my supervisor about it today, he said to not worry about it and that two of the people that are making complaints probably won't be around for much longer due to issues with them and not me. It hurts though when people you work closely with and help a lot because you have a better understanding, then says that you don't do anything. I do a lot of things that others don't see because it's been helping to get the house organized and cleaned up and to help ensure that everyone has a bit of an easier time doing their job. The state inspects the house every so often, we have certain rules we have to follow and things that need to be done and part of my job is doing those things. The previous person in my position was not doing nearly the amount of work that I have done since I've been there and I'm going on four months there. 

I like my job. I am still learning things for my assistant supervisor position, and up to this point I think that I've done pretty well. I have a lot of responsibility put on me with making appointments and getting people to those appointments, shopping, inventorying the residents belongings and other things kept in the house because we know that some staff is stealing but we don't have proof. I created and instituted an inventory list for all supplies that we keep in backstock. The stealing has pretty much dropped off, which is good, but some things are still disappearing quicker than they should. 

I think that my meds have been helping to keep me at an even keel with all this stuff that has been going on. I generally do okay under pressure but when that is coupled with learning a lot of new stuff and dealing with people that are rude, that's where it can hard for me. 

I tend to keep myself on my days off because I'm around people a lot and I need time to decompress. The meds make that a bit easier, I don't feel like I'm holding onto things for nearly as long, which is good. 

The joint pain that I was experiencing with the Fluoxetine is nearly gone. I still have some trouble with reaching behind me if I'm not fully turned. I can buckle my seatbelt without pain and crying now. I can move at night without pain and crying. I still have some trouble picking things up with my right hand or holding things with my right arm but it's not nearly as bad as it was. That is great. 

New Day, New Med

Due to major and not common joint pain I stopped taking the Fluoxetine on January 1. I then had three days off meds completely and today I have started my new med, Citalopram (Celexa). The first week is 10mg and then I'll be on 20mg after that. I waited to start it until today because I have two days off from work and if this new med causes sleepiness then I'll know and be able to change the time I take it. So far though, not really feeling tired but it's only been a few hours since I've taken it. 

One thing I didn't want to have happen was start on medication and then have to go through multiples to find one that works for me, but that's part of this process. My doctor asked how I felt while on the Fluoxetine, I didn't feel up or down, even keel for the most part. I wasn't sleeping better, I didn't have more energy but I wasn't really down either, that was a nice feeling. The first couple of weeks were difficult and the joint pain has been horrible but I'm hoping that goes away soon. 

For now, I'll work with the new one and keep track of how I'm feeling overall. 

Next Steps

 Tomorrow I have my med review. I feel like it's been going okay since I've started. I can't say that I feel a lot different than before, other than noticing some triggers that make headaches worse. The last couple of weeks I noticed that my right hand had joint pain when I tried to grab things. That has now begun in my right shoulder and also my right hip. I've had issues with my shoulder for years though so I thought at first it was because of that but this is a lot more pronounced pain than what I've had before. 

I'm seeing my doctor tomorrow, not sure what will happen but I'd like the joint pains to stop. It's hard to drive, get dressed, shower etc when you have pain with your dominant side. 

Three Weeks Later

 I'm over a month into being on these meds and finally the headaches have stopped. I am more aware of triggers because the headaches are worse with the meds. 

I have not missed a day with the meds and hopefully do not, though my doctor said that if I miss a day, it's okay. I have my morning routine set with them and it's working well. 

My mood is better, I think. Some days I don't feel different but overall I've had a bit more energy and I'm falling asleep a bit easier. I'm not sure I'm sleeping better but that's due to other factors from before I started the meds. 

I had a schedule change with work, every Friday and Saturday off now. This has been a bit of an adjustment but I think it's going to be okay, just getting used to it. 

Today my cousin is coming over to work on Genealogy research. A lot has come up in the last few weeks. Not only have a found a link between my family name and Kyra Sedgwick, BUT, I also found that there is a link between my family and Laura Ingalls Wilder.     

        

This is very exciting news! I knew that there were Ingels in my tree, but I did not think that it would lead to this. I loved watching Little House on the Prairie but I never read the books and I have not seen the movies. Since finding this information I have purchased the movies and if I don't get the series or books for Christmas (they are on my Amazon wish list) then I will buy them for myself. My younger sister started watching the show again and her daughter also watches and likes the show. It's so interesting to know that my family lines has this type of history to it. I know there is more than what was in the show, which I hope to learn through the books and information online as well. 

I've got to get ready for my visit, just a bit more to clean and food to prep. 

The Journey Continues

Week 2 on this med has ended today. The dose was increased from 10mg to 20mg last Saturday. I've had a few days where I felt off and more tired, but today has been an okay day. 

I'm trying to create some new routines in my daily life, like most things it's a process. I've been trying to clean up one area of the apartment when I wake up in the morning, usually the kitchen. It's been hit or miss this week. 

Another step in my journey is that my new job, which I started mid-September, will be changing as of tomorrow. Tomorrow I will officially be an Assistant Supervisor, and while learning more about that position I will be learning about Supervisor tasks as well. My Supervisor thinks they will want to make me a Supervisor within a few months, if I feel I am ready for that when the time comes. 

The Next Step in My Med Journey

Today I started on 20mg of the Fluoxetine. I'm not sure that I feel a difference from the 10 mg but I guess another week or so will probably show something. I don't know though because this is the first time I've been on a medication like this. This past week I have dealt with some headaches. I know that is a side effect of this medication but I was hoping that it would pass me by. I did discover that if an outside trigger hits, then the headache lasts longer, which has to be because of the medication, it kept me out of work one day. I had trouble focusing and concentrating. Normally being outside and getting fresh air helps but it did not work. One trigger was the smell of bleach at work, I was smelling it hours after leaving work. The second trigger this past week was from my visit to the ENT, they did a pressure test and the noise hurt, plus I had two people looking in my ears and tugging on them a bit, that did me in for the rest of the day. 

I've established a routine with everything I take, which includes a daily nasal spray for my seasonal allergies, which I deal with all year because this state weather changes daily.  I also have a list of vitamins that I take. 

The vitamins I take cover my immune system, my heart health, memory and joint issues. I think that the vitamins helped with me not getting COVID until earlier this year. I work in health care and avoided COVID for a very long time. I got the first two shots, in the beginning, and stayed home when not working and limited my time while out. I have three factors that could have made me getting COVID really bad, I am over 50, overweight and I have Asthma. I have spent a lot of time alone over the last few years, when not working. Very glad that when I did get COVID my symptoms were flu like and did not last long. I had a higher than normal temperature for a day or two and then lost my taste and smell for about four days. 

I was hoping that setting a routine with the medication and what not, plus my bedtime, that I'd start sleeping better, so far that has not happened. Maybe in time it will get better?

New Journey For Me

Today I started on Fluoxetine (Prozac) 10mg a day for one week and then it will be 20mg a day. I may ask to keep it at the 10 mg though, if I'm feeling okay or if the 20 mg feels like it's to much then I'll ask about going back down to the 10mg. I do not know how this is going to make me feel but I told my doctor that I would give it a try. She and my first counselor were trying to get me to try meds a couple years ago but I declined, they did not push it hard but if they saw I was not doing as well they would ask again. So far today I've had a funny feeling in my head, but that's it and didn't last long. A couple side effects is being tired but I'm already tired all the time so I'll just have to push through like I normally do. Another side effect was described as a freight train, going and going, I hope that does not happen because that sounds like me on caffeine and that's never good...I'd be moving all day but NEVER get anything done. 

The last month or so I've been feeling more up and down with the depression, not fully taking care of myself and my apartment, I'm still not sleeping well but I think that has other factors beyond the depression and I've had bouts of anxiety where every little thing is making me jump, my hands shake constantly and I spend more time inside, alone. 

I think that some of the depression and lack of self care comes from my friend that I was walking with and going to movies with, just stopped talking to me. There were a few text responses saying they'd get back to me about hanging out and then they didn't. The last text I sent was unanswered, I decided that was it, I was done trying. Even if they get ahold of me I'm not sure that I will want to see them because they just stopped and I don't want to deal that rejection again. Why is having friends, as an adult, harder than when I was younger? I miss having someone to hang out with and walk with. Today is a great day to walk but since I like to walk in the woods and take pictures, for safety reasons I do not walk alone. I miss my friend. I don't have friends close that I can do things with. I am not a bar/club person so I'm not meeting people that way and I only work with a few people, none that I'd hang out with outside of work. 

I'm really trying to push myself today, I don't want to give in to the sleep because I won't be able to do that when I go back to work on Monday. I don't know how much cleaning I'll get done today but I'm hoping enough to make it look better in here.