I feel like time is closing in on me and there won't be enough of it to do what I want to do. There is so much to do right now and I have little energy to do it. Some days my brain says stop and lay down to sleep.
Working 40+ a week, school, on-line training for a new part time job (it's a good job!), getting out of debt, trying to plan my trip that has to happen in two months without having any money for it yet and figuring out where I will end up by the end of the year...it's all stressing me out, way more than I would like.
My life has been condensed to one small room, a pile of totes in a small shed and one part of a basement. I'm beyond ready to run away and needing my own space to stretch out. That is number one on my list of goals for this year, getting back to my own space again.
This is how things have ended up, for now, I will keep doing what I have always done, find a way to keep pushing through everything until I reach my goal. Keep pushing through school to maintain my GPA, schedule what needs to be done for the new job (CPR/First Aid & TB Test) and finish my online training. Get the money situation handled for my trip and consolidate my debt and get it out of the way. Once I get a handle on that stuff I will finally be able to focus on expanding my personal space.
I know where I'd like to end up, for now, but I'm also trying to keep my options open for more changes in the future. What I'm doing now for work and school, will have a huge impact on my future and where I end up by the time I finish my degree. That is what I'm looking forward to the most when looking at long term goals. I can't wait to see where all this work, time shut in my room and countless hours on the computer are going to land me.
Everything can look bleak and be very stressful, but there will always be something to focus on, finding what is important, keeping it close to you and pushing through the stress. I give up once in awhile, but not usually for very long. I take a step back and leave the computer alone and just lay down (like last night) and then I get back up and continue on (like this morning).
Time for today to begin.
