The Journey Continues

Week 2 on this med has ended today. The dose was increased from 10mg to 20mg last Saturday. I've had a few days where I felt off and more tired, but today has been an okay day. 

I'm trying to create some new routines in my daily life, like most things it's a process. I've been trying to clean up one area of the apartment when I wake up in the morning, usually the kitchen. It's been hit or miss this week. 

Another step in my journey is that my new job, which I started mid-September, will be changing as of tomorrow. Tomorrow I will officially be an Assistant Supervisor, and while learning more about that position I will be learning about Supervisor tasks as well. My Supervisor thinks they will want to make me a Supervisor within a few months, if I feel I am ready for that when the time comes. 

The Next Step in My Med Journey

Today I started on 20mg of the Fluoxetine. I'm not sure that I feel a difference from the 10 mg but I guess another week or so will probably show something. I don't know though because this is the first time I've been on a medication like this. This past week I have dealt with some headaches. I know that is a side effect of this medication but I was hoping that it would pass me by. I did discover that if an outside trigger hits, then the headache lasts longer, which has to be because of the medication, it kept me out of work one day. I had trouble focusing and concentrating. Normally being outside and getting fresh air helps but it did not work. One trigger was the smell of bleach at work, I was smelling it hours after leaving work. The second trigger this past week was from my visit to the ENT, they did a pressure test and the noise hurt, plus I had two people looking in my ears and tugging on them a bit, that did me in for the rest of the day. 

I've established a routine with everything I take, which includes a daily nasal spray for my seasonal allergies, which I deal with all year because this state weather changes daily.  I also have a list of vitamins that I take. 

The vitamins I take cover my immune system, my heart health, memory and joint issues. I think that the vitamins helped with me not getting COVID until earlier this year. I work in health care and avoided COVID for a very long time. I got the first two shots, in the beginning, and stayed home when not working and limited my time while out. I have three factors that could have made me getting COVID really bad, I am over 50, overweight and I have Asthma. I have spent a lot of time alone over the last few years, when not working. Very glad that when I did get COVID my symptoms were flu like and did not last long. I had a higher than normal temperature for a day or two and then lost my taste and smell for about four days. 

I was hoping that setting a routine with the medication and what not, plus my bedtime, that I'd start sleeping better, so far that has not happened. Maybe in time it will get better?

New Journey For Me

Today I started on Fluoxetine (Prozac) 10mg a day for one week and then it will be 20mg a day. I may ask to keep it at the 10 mg though, if I'm feeling okay or if the 20 mg feels like it's to much then I'll ask about going back down to the 10mg. I do not know how this is going to make me feel but I told my doctor that I would give it a try. She and my first counselor were trying to get me to try meds a couple years ago but I declined, they did not push it hard but if they saw I was not doing as well they would ask again. So far today I've had a funny feeling in my head, but that's it and didn't last long. A couple side effects is being tired but I'm already tired all the time so I'll just have to push through like I normally do. Another side effect was described as a freight train, going and going, I hope that does not happen because that sounds like me on caffeine and that's never good...I'd be moving all day but NEVER get anything done. 

The last month or so I've been feeling more up and down with the depression, not fully taking care of myself and my apartment, I'm still not sleeping well but I think that has other factors beyond the depression and I've had bouts of anxiety where every little thing is making me jump, my hands shake constantly and I spend more time inside, alone. 

I think that some of the depression and lack of self care comes from my friend that I was walking with and going to movies with, just stopped talking to me. There were a few text responses saying they'd get back to me about hanging out and then they didn't. The last text I sent was unanswered, I decided that was it, I was done trying. Even if they get ahold of me I'm not sure that I will want to see them because they just stopped and I don't want to deal that rejection again. Why is having friends, as an adult, harder than when I was younger? I miss having someone to hang out with and walk with. Today is a great day to walk but since I like to walk in the woods and take pictures, for safety reasons I do not walk alone. I miss my friend. I don't have friends close that I can do things with. I am not a bar/club person so I'm not meeting people that way and I only work with a few people, none that I'd hang out with outside of work. 

I'm really trying to push myself today, I don't want to give in to the sleep because I won't be able to do that when I go back to work on Monday. I don't know how much cleaning I'll get done today but I'm hoping enough to make it look better in here.