Loss

     There are many ways to lose someone; death, being walked away from, walking away from a negative person, to name a few. The questions is...How do you deal with loss? 

     Loss due to death, everyone deals with this in their own way; crying, screaming, ignoring it, withdrawing from family and friends, fall into a depression, feel alone. 

     Loss due to someone walking away from you, like death loss, people will cry, be angry, withdraw from family and friends, fall into a depression, feel alone. 
     
     Loss due to being the one to walk away from a negative person; this is a controlled feeling, typically if you are the one to leave, you've thought about it and made plans for it. If you are the one to walk away, it still hurts because it's the end of something you wanted to last but realized it couldn't. 

     Loss due to a negative person, their negativity can come at you in many ways. Lies, comments, comparisons about your lives, where one thing is okay for one person but not the other person. What if the loss happened because of simple and proven lie, not even a big lie, a small stupid lie, something not even worth lying about? 

     This is something that I've recently been dealing with. It's making me question an entire relationship and how many times I've wondered if I were being lied too but couldn't prove it so I pushed it aside. I ignored claims of this person being a liar by an one of their exes but didn't believe because at that time, I didn't feel I was being lied too and saw no signs or reasons why I would be lied too. Now years of my life are in question. 

     Part of me is okay with not having contact and okay if there is no more contact but another part of me is not okay with it because this person was a big part of my life for many years, I think that is the hardest part for me, the loss of that long friendship. 

     I don't know if this person will decide to talk to me again, I guess I'm okay with it either way, but I don't think that I'll trust what I'm told anymore, from this person. I will always wonder if what I'm told is the truth or how much is exaggerated or a flat out lie. Maybe it's better to just not have contact anymore. I don't think I want to have a relationship where I'm constantly wondering if I'm being lied too, that is no way to live. 

     How do you deal with loss? I'm not 100% sure about how I want to deal with this, I guess I will take it one day at a time, I feel that is all I can do at this point.